Tips To Avoid Holiday Stress

1. Avoid Family – at all cost. If this means not answering your phone and/or emails, so be it. Family will cause undue stress no matter what. Your best bet might even be faking the swine flu.

2. Shop at the Pharmacy on Christmas Day! After all, there is really nothing to do on the 25th, so why not stock up on Clorets?

3. Play ”Double Jeopardy” with invitations – This means waiting to the last possible minute for others to invite you over to their place for free booze rather than you having to host them.

4. Pawn off your kids! It’s sleepover time, at someone else’s house. That’ll keep grandma busy, since you ain’t gonna see her (see suggestion 1 above). As well, this formally counts towards your yearly quota to visit mom.

5. Pull the “your gift hasn’t arrived yet” routine. Wait to receive those Costco food baskets containing exotic teas and then re-gift the crap to others. Warning – be careful about nametags that may’ve fallen into the green fluff that makes the basket look fuller than it really is.