Summer Tires or Winter Tires?

The great debate goes on – can you use winter tires all year.  “Sure you can!” said Fred Pittway. “No the rubber is too malleable and you’ll have premature tread ware” said Fred Firestone.  Yes, No, Yes, No. In effect both sides are scamming you. One works for Donald Rumsfeld and the pharmaceutical industry, and the other guy just want to sell you “racks” for you “pinion” so that you don’t get “oil viscosity breakdown in five years”.  The reality is cars=couratha.  What’s couratha? Well, any car, any make, any price is effectively this from the very start.

Warning: the above is only an editorial and not based on fact.  Warning may contain nuts. Do not operate heavy machinery after reading it. A simple blood test can determine if an American lawyer can be sued by your own kidneys.  Those of you who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not read this as it may cause vertigo, and in some cases death.

I don't know about you, but I sure could use a rim job.....

United Auto Workers on Strike – AGAIN!

Once again, they’re at it! Mechanics are in shock as some workers were put on suspension. “No one works, they’re all on brake” said a striker who wished to remain anonymous. According to sources, employees in the muffler division are working overtime and are exhausted. “We must get our bearings straight” said Johnny B. Steering, director of the wheels division. “Many of us are tired, yet our desire to work fuels us”. In a parallel story, longshoremen in the Maritimes have walked off the docks. Rescue operations will begin shortly.

Goodyear is having a BLOWOUT Sale

Tire manufacturer GoodYear is having a ‘blowout’ sale on tires. “Prices were too inflated” said Eddy Horowitz, regional sales director. “We are under pressure to increase sales” explained Horowitz. Company employees in the plant were quite tired, but decided to keep working overtime. Susan Finelick, an employee said “We work all day with different rubbers making tires, and never get enough. We all like rubbers, we feel safe”. Tire balancer Axel Rollover said “The company is hoping to get a grip and wheel do it soon!”.

The Cube – Hot Damn That’s One Fine Car!

Isn’t it BEAUTIFUL? The Nissan Cube – the ‘prettiest’ car to hit the roads since the AMC Pacer.

Drive it around! Here’s what you can do with your new car:

• Impress your friends! They’ll think you jacked it from the Red Bull guys.
• Pull up beside, and laugh at Smart Cars!
• Rent it out to novelty products, carnivals, and radio stations!
• Use it for WWII Scenes that drive German generals around 

Insurance on this car is extremely low. Rumour has it that thieves burst out laughing as they try to steal it, so there haven’t been many thefts.

The Cube – the car that’s as popular as the Pet Rock