Carpenters Leave Union!!!

Carpenters across America have left the National Woodworkers Union in order to form their own splinter group.  "Knot a good move" said union president Freddie Mahogany.  "You wood do better to stay in and pine for a new contract" quoted the president.

Time For Some Caulk!

We all need, it, and we all think about it - some good caulk. Life would be simpler with good caulk. According to Alex Harding, creator of Alex's Caulk, his stuff is the best.  "You open it and it smells like caulk!", said Alex. He also went further to explain "It goes on sticky, and then after a while it gets hard.  After many years it cracks. It's real caulk" said Harding.  Women across the U.S. have taken an interested in this new product, many cougars in their forties have questioned if this product comes in black.

New School Offers Amazing Course!

Christian Academy in Marblehead Massachusetts is offering a course that teaches students how to quickly construct nativity scenes.   The school principal explained:

"We're offering a crèche course in woodworking.  Background music will be done by the "Crèche Test Dummies"

Carpenters Using Sub-Standard Equipment

Carpenters across the United States are being blamed for using sub-standard power equipment. “We do our best, and buy from big name department stores” said one carpenter who wished to remain anonymous. Joey Crackhead, spokesman for Walmart said: “These workers purchase from us, they are getting off on cheap drills”.