New Miracle Cure For The Common Cold

Doctors at the Mayo clinic have stopped working with condiments, and have discovered a cure for the common cold. It’s called “Echinchia”, not to be confused with Echinacea (another ‘miracle’ drug). Pfizer, along with Certs have begun mass producing this wonder drug. “You simply take it for 10 days, and your common cold goes away” explained a doctor who often does voices on the Simpsons. Echinchia sells for $29.95 for a three day dose, and ‘doctors’ (and the executives at Certs) recommend that you take the drug for a minimum of three weeks, even after your symptoms are gone, just to ensure the virus does not come back.