Storm Approaches – Orthodontists Warn You Should Brace Yourself

20 – 30 Centimetres of the white stuff are expected to fall upon us tomorrow. That’s over six inches of snow (a real six inches not ‘your version’ of what six inches is). School closures and traffic havoc are inevitable. According to Springdale Elementary physical Education director Jim Nasium, the students will probably be asked to remain at home. The director of the Math Department, Matt Matticks explained “Students should stay home, and the remainder will carry over into the gym - we want to make sure they have axis to services”, statistically speaking of course. “It’s the principal of the situation“ said the...you know who said that... The geography teachers also want to forewarn students and parents not to lose their bearings, and state that it’s simply a matter of degree.


“We must get ready for a blizzard of events, and brace ourselves” said orthodontic spokesman Dr. I. Braceyou. Braceyou is arguably one of the most hated people in our community. His warped perception of the term ‘just a little while’ usually turns out to be about 6 years. Just ask any teen-ager who has had braces. As well, Braceyou’s definition of the sentence “try to reduce costs by putting them on early” has been translated to “let me put on just a few brace$ to see what happen$$”