New Chemical Draws Media Attention

A new sealant product hit the market this week, called Alex's Painter's Acrylic Latex Caulk.  Spokesperson for the company, Ron Jeremy was quoted as saying "I know good caulk when I see some".  He went further to explain "It feels like caulk and it even smells like caulk".  Jeremy, considered to be an expert in this domain has been around caulk most of his life.  

Phil Hardon, company chemist, explained that at first the compound comes out of the tube white and slimy, and then hardens to a rubbery texture.  "If it's not kept moist, it may crack after a few years" said Hardon.

Religious pundits are not in agreement as to how to properly open and use the product.  The Jews agree that a small amount should be cut off the tip to allow the caulk to be exposed.  Catholics on the other hand disagree claiming this mutilates the container.

The product is sold individually in a 12 inch tube with a lot of girth, or in a 12 pack know as "Case-'o-Caulk"