Carmaker Honda Motor Corporation Has Serious Problems

Bloomington Indiana mayor Ian Scammie explained that the Honda Motor Corporation is having Civic problems with his township. “This is a Prelude to further aggravation, unless an Accord is reached” said the mayor. Honda refused comment, and for reasons not known to mankind, a 15 year old rusted Honda still sells for about $17000 USD on the used car market.


Similarly, in Marblehead Massachusetts, Volkswagen launched its largest ever end-of-lease campaign. In collaboration with Star Wars, Volkswagen unveiled its “Return of the Jetta” promotion. Apparently when you return your car and re-lease the $35,000 vehicle (for only $199 a month*!), you get one of two things free

• a Lens Crafters Coupon which entitles you to $25 off any pair of glasses over $950 (before taxes)
                     OR
• a ‘free’ analysis of your portfolio by Charles Schwab Investment Services.

People are going wild about this promotion, and lining up for hours. "It's a bit like going to a Bar-Mitvah at a yacht club, except it's not a Bar-Mitvah, and we're not at a yacht club" said Eddie Horowitz, resident of Marblehead.

*Note: $199 month lease fee does not include transport, taxes, surcharges, insurance, donations to political parties, administration charges, and ‘charges of the week’. Network fee is not included in this monthly payment. Warning, may contain nuts. A simple blood test can determine if your liver can sue your own lawyer. Not valid in Alaska and Hawaii (we hate those states anyways).

Isn't it a BEAUTIFUL CAR? Don't you WANT ONE?

It's enough to shake the Fuego outta you. Yugo out and buy one today! Lada dee de da...