Last week's terrorism scare in Detroit did not seem to shake President Obama. "
From now on we're going to implement the toughest security standards the world has ever seen", said the President. According to 'politician' Ron Kennedy (illegitimate son of Ted Kennedy, who sits on the board of directors of several tobacco companies, pharmaceutical companies, and oversees the Democratic slush fund) some of these measures will include:
- Travelers entering the US will now be required to arrive at airports 4 hours before their flight
- Once someone has passed security, he will now have to visit an airport steakhouse restaurant where he can choose all types of 10" steak knives to bring on board
- Lighters, fluids, firearms and ammunition can only be purchased once someone has passed security and is awaiting a flight
Donald Rumsfeld, an 'honest man', who has sold his shares of the H1N1 vaccine manufacturing plant, was quoted as saying:
"I've had enough with the H1N1, now it's time for me to ensure public safety and I will personally oversee that all commercial establishments beyond security checkpoints are 'authorized' and members of the 'Donald Rumsfeld Group' "
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