Montreal International Festival

Jazz singers and porn actresses are gearing up for the annual "Montreal International Jizz Festival".  According to insider information, the 'emptying' of wind instruments must be done using rubber gloves.

Trumpet Deemed Easiest Instrument To Play

According to the International Standards on How Hard Musical Instruments Are to Play (ISHHMIAP) the trumpet is by far the easiest instrument to play, easier than the tambourine.  Get serious - how hard can it be - there are only three different pins on it. It looks a helluva lot easier to play than the piano.

New Medical Terms

Obama's Health Care Reform bill has recently published this new list of medical terms.

First Baseman Legend Shares News

Albert Pujols, first baseman for the Cardinals is an outstanding ball player.  Last week, he shared some news with us at Whack My Site, here's what he said:

"I was curious why the ball was thrown at me - it kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me"

Baby Care

Passports & Nexus Cards - No Longer Accepted

United States border authorities will no longer accept passports or Nexus cards as valid identification in order to enter the country.  According to new U.S. policy, valid forms of I.D. can be any (or all of the following)

• gun permit
• parole documents
• illegal immigration papers
• restraining orders
• I.O.U.s for drug money (signed with blood)
• contribution slips to a "U.S. political party"

This policy is the toughest new legislation, and will be followed.

New Fragrance from FCUK

World renowned FCUK - French Connection United Kingdom fashion is set to expand their horizons.  They're branching out into the fragrance market.  "Our goal is to sell fragrances along with stylish fashion" said CEO Bob Rownnose.  Their flagship perfume will be called SHTI.