New Medical Terms

Obama's Health Care Reform bill has recently published this new list of medical terms.

First Baseman Legend Shares News

Albert Pujols, first baseman for the Cardinals is an outstanding ball player.  Last week, he shared some news with us at Whack My Site, here's what he said:

"I was curious why the ball was thrown at me - it kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me"

Baby Care

Passports & Nexus Cards - No Longer Accepted

United States border authorities will no longer accept passports or Nexus cards as valid identification in order to enter the country.  According to new U.S. policy, valid forms of I.D. can be any (or all of the following)

• gun permit
• parole documents
• illegal immigration papers
• restraining orders
• I.O.U.s for drug money (signed with blood)
• contribution slips to a "U.S. political party"

This policy is the toughest new legislation, and will be followed.

New Fragrance from FCUK

World renowned FCUK - French Connection United Kingdom fashion is set to expand their horizons.  They're branching out into the fragrance market.  "Our goal is to sell fragrances along with stylish fashion" said CEO Bob Rownnose.  Their flagship perfume will be called SHTI.

New Higher Educational Institution

The U.S. government has launched the first ever university that will focus on witchcraft, and wizardry.

"Students can also study the occult"

Explained Louis Cyphre, self-appointed principal.  The name of the new institution will be "Damn-U"....

Neurologists Prefer Certain Patients

Neurologists who perform surgery at the Mayo Clinic (a hospital for condiments) have made their preferences known:  "We prefer patients who are open-minded" said one physician.  Apparently, hard-headed patients are tougher to work on.  Patients awaiting surgery have made their frustrations known - "We need this like a hole in the head" said one member of the group.
In a related story, a psychiatrist at the Mayo clinic met a strand of spaghetti that was overly anxious, phobic, and had mood swings.  "That's one complex carbohydrate" said the doctor.