Richie Sambora - Booted Out!!!

Bon Jovi lead guitarist was booted out of the band last week.  According to reports, this has nothing to do with boozing, hookers or drugs.  Apparently Richie was kicked out because was sniffing the glue he uses to fasten his wig-mop to the top of his head.  Richie's cat could not be reached for comment.

Seamstresses and Tailors Forbidden From On-line Banking

Seamstress and Tailors across the country were forbidden from conducting on-line banking transactions.  "There are many reasons for this" quoted S. Kamyou  a door to door encyclopaedia salesman turned  heat-pump salesman turned 'financial advisor' turned mutual funds salesman (just the natural evolution of the job).  "These people keep losing their PIN !Sew what should I do about this? " said S.Kamyou.

Chemistry People - Always trouble.....

People employed in the chemical industry are always looking for new solutions.  Periodically, these people reach their titration points.  According to sources, we should all keep an ion them....

Microwaves are NOT waterproof

To the surprise of thousands, the founder of "LetsImportItFromChinaAsCheapAsPossible" has openly stated that his microwaves are NOT waterproof.  Many people were shocked.....

Carpenters Leave Union!!!

Carpenters across America have left the National Woodworkers Union in order to form their own splinter group.  "Knot a good move" said union president Freddie Mahogany.  "You wood do better to stay in and pine for a new contract" quoted the president.

Accident Victim at 3M

A worker at the Paper Mate company was re-stocking the stationary cabinet at work, when an accident occurred.  According to sources, a product hit an employee causing great injury.  The employee was quoted as saying "A huge box of Liquid Paper fell on top of me. I was dazed, and couldn’t see anything, it was a complete white-out....."

 

Jim Messina - Blocked From Online Banking

Musical artist Jim Messina was blocked from online banking yesterday.  According to officials, he's been barred because of too many loggins..