University Professor Caught Unloading Pallets

A university professor was caught on camera unloading wooden pallets from a shipping truck.  "I wanted to take control and remove them from the truck" said the unnamed professor.  Nearby students began yelling "Hey! Teacher! Leave those skids alone!"

Lionel Richie Launches Chain of Tea Houses

Lionel Richie, key member of the Commodores and father to Nicole Richie, has launched a new chain of Tea Houses across the country.  Fans of his are currently "dancing on the ceiling" as everyone seems to be drinking his tea.

Hair Thief Caught!

Police have apprehended a man in Syracuse who allegedly stole a hairpiece.  "They're freakin' expensive" claimed the man.  According to authorities, the man will have toupée.

Bridge Repair Work

Workers for the highway safety commission were on strike last week. A spokesman for the group claimed that bridge repair work is riveting. Lawyers liked the statement and attempted to STEEL it.  Their goal was a more concrete view on things and an unabridged viewpoint.

Gladys Knight to Rebuild her Band

Mega superstar Gladys Knight will be rebuilding her band.  According to sources, it will be based out of Los Angeles and called "Gladys Knight and the Crips"

Gotye Avoids Surgery

Doctors in Fresno California have concluded that multi-talented musician Gotye does not require surgery.  Lab tests came out negative, and apparently, his doctors "didn't have to cut him up"!!!!

Origami - it can be DANGEROUS

Origami, the traditional Japanese art of folding paper can be dangerous.  Just yesterday I allowed a couple of Japanese guys to practice the art on my kitchen table. Now my problems are two-fold.

Richie Sambora - Booted Out!!!

Bon Jovi lead guitarist was booted out of the band last week.  According to reports, this has nothing to do with boozing, hookers or drugs.  Apparently Richie was kicked out because was sniffing the glue he uses to fasten his wig-mop to the top of his head.  Richie's cat could not be reached for comment.

Seamstresses and Tailors Forbidden From On-line Banking

Seamstress and Tailors across the country were forbidden from conducting on-line banking transactions.  "There are many reasons for this" quoted S. Kamyou  a door to door encyclopaedia salesman turned  heat-pump salesman turned 'financial advisor' turned mutual funds salesman (just the natural evolution of the job).  "These people keep losing their PIN !Sew what should I do about this? " said S.Kamyou.

Chemistry People - Always trouble.....

People employed in the chemical industry are always looking for new solutions.  Periodically, these people reach their titration points.  According to sources, we should all keep an ion them....

Microwaves are NOT waterproof

To the surprise of thousands, the founder of "LetsImportItFromChinaAsCheapAsPossible" has openly stated that his microwaves are NOT waterproof.  Many people were shocked.....