Neurologists Prefer Certain Patients

Neurologists who perform surgery at the Mayo Clinic (a hospital for condiments) have made their preferences known:  "We prefer patients who are open-minded" said one physician.  Apparently, hard-headed patients are tougher to work on.  Patients awaiting surgery have made their frustrations known - "We need this like a hole in the head" said one member of the group.
In a related story, a psychiatrist at the Mayo clinic met a strand of spaghetti that was overly anxious, phobic, and had mood swings.  "That's one complex carbohydrate" said the doctor.

Quebec Opens New Chicken Restaurant

While the Bastardaches settle who steals money from the Ministere des Parcometres, the Ministere des Restaurants du Quebec has opened a new chain of fast foods for French people who like to argue. It's called "Kentucky Fried Chicane".....

Nutrition to be Improved Among Executives

The U.S. Government, in an initiative to spearhead health and nutrition has introduced new legislature - to improve the foods eaten at corporate meetings, in specific when executives travel for business. Dr. P. Inhead was quoted as saying "We are going to improve on the quality of coffee and ice water served to our executives who travel to hotels and conventions".  Traveling corporate monkeys across the country cheered this news, and can now look forward to super cold water and Colombian blend coffee before being yelled at for slumping sales.