Tiger Woods Followed By Sex Addiction Sponsor

Sources close to Tiger Woods confirmed Friday that, due to the large number of women expected to attend this year's Masters, the top-ranked golfer has requested that his Sex Addicts Anonymous sponsor, 42-year-old recovering sexaholic Dave Gilecki, be at his side at all times during the tournament.  "There are holes everywhere - and we know where that could lead" said Gilecki. Tiger Woods was reported to have been walking around the green saying "Bend over, I'll drive you home" repeatedly under his breath.

New Diet - To Lose Weight Fast!

The new “Stop the Damn Eating” diet seems to be waning in popularity this week. After years of longitudinal study and billions of dollars in research, the U.S. Government  has determined that the best way to lose weight is to stop the damn eating. Fatties across the U.S. remain puzzled, and really cannot grasp the concept. “You mean no more KFC?” replied Alice Lardo citizen of Kentucky.


In a similar story, the U.S. Treasury announced new economic strategies for Americans. It’s called the “Don’t Spend Money You Don’t Have” concept. It involves the idea of only buying things you can afford.  This means no credit or deferred payment plan.  Again, this approach as of yet, still proves to be far too complex for most citizens, as the economy continues to tank.